Dear Hyde Park Family,
One of the joys of offering our online service every Sunday is the new sense of connection we have with people around the country. For the last several months, a couple from Virginia named Claudette and David Collins have not only been joining us online, but Claudette has been singing in our choir. Through the wonders of technology, our Director of Traditional Worship Michael Dougherty has been able to include her in a number of our virtual choir selections. Last week, David and Claudette made the trip to Tampa and joined us for in person worship last Sunday. It was a joy to meet them, and afterwards they went out to lunch with Michael.
This is where the story gets really good.
Over the course of the lunch, they revealed that they were related to a woman named Mary Collins, who was born in 1827. She was born in Decatur, Georgia, but eventually moved to Tampa and lived in a little house in the Hyde Park area.
It was in that home – the very home of Mary Collins – where a small group of Christians began to meet to form a community that would eventually become Hyde Park United Methodist Church. That little house sat on the very property where 122 years later, God’s love is being made real each and every Sunday.
This is a portion of the newspaper clipping from 1913 containing Mary’s obituary:
“Born in Decatur County, Georgia, Mrs. Collins drove thirty-seven years ago through the country in a covered wagon to Tampa. Her husband, W.B. Collins, died soon after the Confederate war of consumption. Settling here she went to live in a little house in what is now Hyde Park, but which then was a native wilderness. Ever since she was twelve years old, she has been a devout member of the Methodist church. Before a Methodist church was organized in this city, services were held in her Hyde Park home. When the Hyde Park Methodist church was dedicated, she was one of its first members.”
Needless to say, when we heard this story from the Collins’, we were awestruck
THE FUTURE OF OUR CAMPUS MASTER PLANS
Little could Mary Collins have imagined how her property would evolve into the dynamic campus that we have today. Ever since her time, generations of Hyde Park members have been stewards of the properties and facilities of this church. And today, we have the opportunity to exercise that same faithfulness for the future.
When our recent visioning process concluded last year, it ended prior to our acquisition of the Women’s Clinic last June. Now that we have acquired the entire DeLeon block, it is time to update the campus master plans of both the Hyde Park and Portico campuses. The last time our master plans were updated was over twenty years ago.
So, last Tuesday, the Ministry Leadership Council approved the start of a discernment process, which will have the following objectives:
- Cast the net wide throughout the congregation for input, discernment, and buy-in;
- Engage key constituents;
- Develop a prioritized and time-phased set of recommendations relative to Hyde Park properties and facilities, including improvements, divestures, purchases, and usage;
- Recommendations will be consistent with Hyde Park’s vision and mission and represent good stewardship of resources that is sustainable over the long term;
- Final recommendations will be delivered to the Ministry Leadership Council for approval by the end of June 2022.
If you would like to be a part of this process, we would love for you to let us know by sending an email to questions@hydeparkumc.org.
Let us live out the example of our ancestral pioneers like Mary Collins, and carve out a future that will be claimed by future generations of this church.
Grace and Peace,
Magrey
Tomorrow, laity and clergy from across Florida United Methodism will gather virtually for Annual Conference, to engage in the tradition of holy conferencing that is as old as Methodism itself. It will be a time of renewed connection, prayer, and inspiration, as we recommit ourselves to making disciples for the transformation of the world.
With all the uncertainty and unsettledness in our denomination, I spent some time these last few days remembering why it is good to be a United Methodist. This denomination nurtured my faith and led me to my confirmation. It was instrumental in my call to ministry, and it is the context in which I love and serve people like you. It is not perfect, and other religious traditions have their own strengths and virtues. But here are reasons why there is beauty in being United Methodist.
1. We are a People of Grace
We believe that the work of God’s grace is a lifelong process. It draws us toward God before we even realize it, empowers us to accept it for ourselves, and fashions us every day into the living image of Jesus. Our unique understanding of grace also gives room to believe in human free will. Our ability to choose God is itself a gift of grace, lest it become a work necessary for salvation. As the old hymn says, “Grace has brought be safe thus far, and grace will lead me home.”
2. We are a People of the Word
We believe that Jesus is the Word made flesh, the ultimate revelation of God’s love for humanity, and we believe the Bible offers the clearest witness to the person and work of Jesus. John Wesley called himself “a man of one book, and a student of many.” The Bible serves as our authority in all matters related to salvation, and we can become a living witness to the power of the Scriptures and the love of God.
3. We are a People in the Center
Our Wesleyan theological heritage is grounded in the concept of via media, which John Wesley’s mother Susannah instilled in him in his formative years. It is the “way in the center” which takes the best of two polarizing extremes and forms a creative third way, a “both/and” in matters of faith and life. This principle frees us from being drawn into dichotomous categories that divide our politics and culture, and seeks a way in the center as a witness to God’s inclusive love.
4. We are a People Who Practice our Faith
To be United Methodist means in large part to be methodical, diligent, and intentional about our spiritual practices. Since the early days of John Wesley’s Holy Club, Methodists have sought a structured, daily approach to the spiritual life. Today, that intentionality is the basis of our Discipleship Pathway: attending worship, being part of a small group, performing acts of mercy and justice, reading the scriptures, praying, inviting others, and giving generously of our means.
5. We are Connected to Each Other
Being connectional is a hallmark of our denomination. We believe that each church and every member are part of a wider connection throughout the world. The impact of service and giving multiplies when joined with United Methodists near and far. This enables us to have a broader and wider reach throughout the globe, and to care for those who are suffering. Together, we support schools, hospitals, camps, children’s homes, social service agencies, disaster relief, missionaries, seminaries, and many other missions of mercy and justice around the world.
It is good to be a United Methodist. And I’m glad to be one with you.
Grace and Peace,
Magrey
MIDWEEK MESSAGE TO TAKE SUMMER BREAK
For the next month or so, I’ll be taking my annual summer break from writing the Midweek Message. For the latest updates on all our ministries and programs, stay tuned to our website.
Dear Hyde Park Family,
“Prayer means that, in some unique way, we believe we’re invited into a relationship with someone who hears us when we speak in silence.”
I recently re-read the book “Help, Thanks, Wow: The Three Essential Prayers” by Anne Lamott, whose writing I have enjoyed over the years. Lamott condenses the mystery and beauty of prayer into the three essential components revealed in the book’s title, all of which are critical to have a well-balanced prayer life.
On Help:
“Most good, honest prayers remind me that I am not in charge, that I cannot fix anything and that I open myself to being helped by something, some force, some friends, some something. These prayers say, “Dear Some Something, I don’t know what I’m doing. I can’t see where I’m going. I’m getting more lost, more afraid, more clenched. Help.”
On Thanks:
“Gratitude begins in our hearts and then dovetails into behavior. It almost always makes you willing to be of service, which is where the joy resides. It means that you are willing to stop being such a jerk. When you are aware of all that has been given to you, in your lifetime and the past few days, it is hard not to be humbled, and pleased to give back.”
On Wow:
“Gorgeous, amazing things come into our lives when we are paying attention: mangoes, grandnieces, Bach, ponds. This happens more often when we have as little expectation as possible. If you say, “Well, that’s pretty much what I thought I’d see,” you are in trouble. At that point you have to ask yourself why you are even here. […] Astonishing material and revelation appear in our lives all the time. Let it be. Unto us, so much is given. We just have to be open for business.”
THREE-FOLD PRAYER TO A TRIUNE GOD
Lamott’s book is a reminder to me to not let my prayer life focus only on one category at the expense of others. When my prayers are mostly about Help, God becomes little more than a giant vending machine, there to do my bidding if I simply have the correct change. Focusing only on Thanks without the other two can blind me to the needs of others and the world beyond myself. When I only pray Wow, it is too easy to forget my responsibility and capacity to make a difference.
Help, Thanks, and Wow are all needed for a balanced prayer life.
In a way, this three-fold pattern for prayer is a kind of reflection of the trinitarian nature of God, whom we worship as part of Trinity Sunday this weekend. We celebrate God the Father, who has created all things and fills the world with wonder (Wow). We celebrate God the Son, who has saved us, doing for us what we cannot do for ourselves (Thanks). And we celebrate God the Holy Spirit, who strengthens and empowers us to meet the needs of others in service and love (Help). Join us for Indoor Worship at 9:30 a.m. or for Online Worship at 9:30 and 11 a.m.
So, just as we have been created in the image of a triune God, how will you make this three-fold prayer a way of life? As you and your loved ones continue to live through these uncertain times and re-emerge into life beyond this pandemic, how might you make these three essential prayers a pattern for your daily living?
What are you praying for?
What are you grateful for?
How are you in awe of God?
Grace and Peace,
Magrey
The Rev. Magrey deVega
Senior Pastor, Hyde Park United Methodist
I’m not sure who decides such things, but on the National Day Calendar website, this past week contained several unusual observances: Monday was National Clean Your Room Day, followed by National Eat What You Want Day. Who knew that yesterday was National Odometer Day? And how exactly does one celebrate that?
For what it’s worth, today is an odd convergence of four celebrations: National Crouton Day, National Apple Pie Day, National Fruit Cocktail Day, and National Frog Jumping Day. Sounds like the makings of a very weird party.
But there is one observance that caught my attention: Tomorrow is National Decency Day.
In 2017, a parent in New York named Lisa Cholnoky had grown weary of the caustic nature of our public discourse, particularly online and in social media. She started a simple campaign in the form of a button she created and wore every day, containing the single word “decency.” The buttons became viral, as did her non-partisan, grassroots movement, which you can learn more about on their website Their mission is simple: “To inspire decency in our everyday life, in our conversations and our actions.”
Their efforts were recognized on the floor of the U.S. House of Representatives in September 2017. And in 2019, National Decency Day was established to “celebrate the basic standard of civility that every American deserves.”
They offer three simple guidelines for practicing decency and civility in our interactions with others:
A: Active listening
B: Better understanding
C: Compassion
CREATED TO BE IN RELATIONSHIP WITH OTHERS
In John 15:9-17, our Scripture text for this Sunday in our “New Creation” worship series, Jesus said that our relationships with others ought to be life giving and loving, rather than hostile and divisive. “My command is this,” Jesus said. “Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”
We are connected to God and to each other, as a vine is connected to branches. So, we are called to lean into that connection, despite our divisions and disagreements, to become an interdependent community, strengthening and encouraging each other. In other words, every day should be one of decency.
So, Happy Decency Day tomorrow, friends. Let’s make an extra effort to model civility and compassion in our interactions with others, every day. And in all things, let us love one another.
Grace and Peace,
Magrey
The Rev. Magrey deVega
Senior Pastor, Hyde Park United Methodist
INCREASED SEATING FOR SUNDAY MORNING WORSHIP
Our Ministry Leadership Council Executive Group has approved an increase in the number of people who can attend Sunday indoor worship services. The total number of available seats has been increased by the number of people attending who are fully vaccinated (two weeks have elapsed since the final vaccination). You will find a space on the RSVP form for you to provide the number of people in your reservation who are vaccinated. Sharing this information will allow us to welcome more people into worship. The information will not be retained, but only used to determine capacity. See you Sunday! RSVP here.
Our Florida Conference Bishop Ken Carter has also provided helpful guidance to churches, following Governor DeSantis’ recent announcement lifting local government mask mandates. You can read Bishop Carter’s statement here. As we eagerly and steadily increase worship seating capacity and resume indoor ministries, we will continue for now to practice mask wearing and social distancing, in accordance with direction from the CDC, which has guided our Executive Team since the start of the pandemic. We believe that doing so lives out our faithful Wesleyan understanding of doing no harm, which is one of John Wesley’s three simple rules. It is also a way to love God and love all, fulfilling our mission of making God’s love real.
Dear Hyde Park Family,
This Sunday we focus on Jesus’ famous image of the vine and the branches in John 15, in which he calls us to abide in him and bear fruit. It is important to remember that the standard by which we measure our faithfulness to God is faithfulness, not success.
It is a distinction stated eloquently by the great spiritual writer Henri Nouwen:
There is a great difference between successfulness and fruitfulness. Success comes from strength, control, and respectability. A successful person has the energy to create something, to keep control over its development, and to make it available in large quantities. Success brings many rewards and often fame. Fruits, however, come from weakness and vulnerability. And fruits are unique. A child is the fruit conceived in vulnerability, community is the fruit born through shared brokenness, and intimacy is the fruit that grows through touching one another’s wounds. Let’s remind one another that what brings us true joy is not successfulness but fruitfulness.
And when I think of people in this church who have born this kind of fruitfulness out of their obedience to Jesus, I think of Margaret Mathews and Doug Roland.
REMEMBERING MARGARET AND DOUG
It has been a tough stretch for funeral and memorial services in this congregation, and we offer our prayer and support for those of you grieving the loss of loved ones in recent days. Over the next 48 hours, we will be celebrating the lives of two members of our church, who have left a significant impact on our congregation and our community.
Tomorrow at 11am, we will be remembering Margaret Mathews, and you can watch the livestream of her service here. Margaret was a faithful member of this church, serving a variety of leadership roles, contributing her keen insights and wisdom to advance the mission of this church. She was a fixture in our small group ministries, longing to grow in her faith in the company of others.
Margaret was one of the most distinguished attorneys in Tampa. She chaired the board of the Hillsborough County Bar Association, was named the 2016 Outstanding Lawyer of the Year, and was recognized with the Florida Bar President’s Pro Bono Award. But Margaret was driven less by those accolades for success and more by her inner standards of fruitfulness. She was a trailblazer for females in her profession and made it her life’s work to mentor female attorneys. She demonstrated the kind of determination, intelligence, humor, and grace that endeared her to many. Her fruit will last longer than her success, for the betterment of our community.
This Saturday at 10am, we will be celebrating the life of Doug Roland, whose service you can watch via livestream here. He and Cheri joined our church in 1986, and immediately made an indelible mark in our church. He shared in nearly every leadership team, participated in our music ministries, and was a leader in many of our small groups. He helped create the Forum Class, a vibrant, spirited collection of disciples who engage vital issues of life and faith.
In what he would name his “pinnacle of service and calling,” he and Cheri would spend their retirement years in South Africa, providing invaluable service to the Seth Mokitimi Methodist Seminary, which trains church leaders from six surrounding African countries. He helped to create their field education program, forging relationships between the seminary and eighteen field placement agencies, including prisons, AIDS care, early learning centers, and psychiatric hospitals. Bishop Peter Storey recalls theirs as a work in which “no firmer foundation could have been laid.”
As branches connected to the vine, we remain connected to saints like Margaret and Doug, nourished and strengthened by the same faith in Christ. Let us choose each day to bear fruit, extending the hospitality of God to others, not for the measures of worldly success, but for the purpose of glorifying God.
Grace and peace,
Magrey
The Rev. Magrey deVega
Senior Pastor, Hyde Park United Methodist
This Sunday our services focus on Jesus as our Good Shepherd from John 10. And in an odd bit of comedic timing, this video popped up in my social media feed. You’ll want to watch it.
I bet you can relate to that sheep as much as I can. And here are a few other timely lessons we can learn from sheep, and from our Good Shepherd.
1. JESUS PROVIDES
It turns out sheep don’t like to drink running water from a stream. They prefer water that is not moving. A shepherd will then take his staff to momentarily dam the river, to create a pool of still water for the sheep to drink. No matter how much your life may feel like a frenzied rush of roaring water, you can find rest, provision, and stillness in the presence of Jesus (Psalm 23:2)
2. JESUS KNOWS YOU BY NAME
In the Ancient Near East, it was not uncommon for shepherds to name their sheep. Much like we name horses, dogs, and cats, shepherds called sheep by name. No matter how lonely or disconnected you might feel, you can listen for the voice of Jesus, who calls you by name and leads you forward. (John 10:3)
3. JESUS IDENTIFIES WITH THE OPPRESSED
Shepherds were despised in Greco-Roman culture. One Jewish midrash on Psalm 23 says, “The pious were forbidden to buy wool, milk or meat from shepherds. Civic privileges were withdrawn from them as from the tax collectors. No position in the world is as despised as that of the shepherd.” As our Good Shepherd, Jesus identifies with any way that you feel downtrodden, oppressed, and helpless.
4. JESUS BECAME THE SACRIFICE
In biblical times, shepherds eventually sacrificed many of their sheep, providing the means through which people could restore their relationship with God in the Temple. Without shepherds, there would be no sheep, and no sacrifice, and restoration with God.
That’s why the most surprising lesson we learn about Jesus as our Good Shepherd comes from John 10:11: “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.” Jesus did not lead his sheep to slaughter, but saves his sheep from slaughter. This Good Shepherd does not allow us to die; he came to die in our place.
Join us this Sunday as we continue our worship series as we learn to follow our Good Shepherd.
Grace and Peace,
Magrey
The Rev. Magrey deVega
Senior Pastor, Hyde Park United Methodist
PRAYER FOR OUR COUNTRY
We join in prayer with others around the country in the wake of the verdict of Derek Chauvin’s trial, in the murder of George Floyd in Minneapolis last summer. I offer the following word from my friend and clergy colleague Rev. Tom Berlin, pastor of Floris United Methodist Church in Herndon, Virginia:
The announcement of the verdict in the Chauvin trial is an important moment to me that serves everyone in a society that honors the rule of law. I am grateful for the testimony of police officers about the standards of their practices, the number of eyewitnesses and video that helped the jury understand what happened, and a justice process that includes a jury of peers to both the victim and the defendant and the rest of the community as well. I am grateful for a Judge who upheld the order of legal proceedings and for the ideals of the Judicial branch of our government. There are no real winners here. One man is dead. Another’s life is inexorably changed. Trauma to citizens abounds. But a verdict that arrives after due process has been given and is consistent with the legal standards of the state where George Floyd was killed is critical in a time when we have so much information about the remarkable volume of past injustice towards people of color. The work of justice is ongoing, never-ending work in every society, and tonight I give thanks for those who care about justice and have the courage to ensure it. “Give justice to the weak and the fatherless; maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute,” (Psalm 82:3)
Dear Hyde Park Family,
So then, if anyone is in Christ, that person is part of the new creation. The old things have gone away, and look, new things have arrived!
(2 Corinthians 5:17)
Last Sunday we kicked off our new worship series “A New Creation,” and I concluded my sermon with a story about a man named Rodney. I’ve changed his name here, but he’s given me permission to share his story with you.
Rodney is one of the many people around the country who have discovered Hyde Park United Methodist since we began our new online worship platform at the start of the pandemic. When he sent the following email a few weeks ago, it simply blew me away.
I came across Hyde Park UMC’s ‘Making God’s Love Real’ recordings in a very intense search for meaning in the early months of 2020. I’ve been a very tough atheist for most of my life, but I’ve also dealt with very strong feelings of depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember, which have made me somewhat of a nihilist. 2019 was really damaging for me, but last year was full of healing and progress, in which you and HPUMC played a very big role.
I now consider myself a Christian and know I will make it through my hardest patches in the future thanks to the faith you sparked in me, as I’ve done this year. But I also still think rationality and science are the way to solve most problems in this world, therapy and medication are very powerful tools, and inequality across racial, cultural and gender lines is real. And the reason I can now break this apparent dichotomy is the listening of your teachings.
You do a great service to this world by helping articulate the complementary nature of science and religion with such a humane approach.
I remain forever thankful to you and Hyde Park’s United Methodist Church, and hope someday I can give back at least a fraction of the love I’ve received thanks to your worship services.
Since sending me that email, Rodney has told me that he hasn’t missed a service with us online, and that he is now getting involved in a local faith community near where he lives.
I think that deserves an Amen!
PARTICIPATING IN GOD’S NEW CREATION
Stories like Rodney’s remind us of why we do what we do as a church. God is at work in and through us, bringing healing to the hurting and hope to the heartbroken. And when you support this church, through your prayers, presence, gifts, service, and witness, you are part of the new creation that God is making for people like Rodney all around the world.
Thank you for your support, encouragement, and generosity as we continue to live through this season of change, and into the amazing future God has for this church.
Grace and Peace,
Magrey
The Rev. Magrey deVega
Senior Pastor, Hyde Park United Methodist
Dear Hyde Park Family,
Back in 1993, while walking through Tyrone Square Mall in St. Petersburg, I saw my first Magic Eye 3D image. Or at least I tried to see it.
In case you’d never heard of them, Magic Eye 3D images are computer-generated pictures that on the surface, appear to be little more than colorful repeating patterns of lines and shapes. But if you stare at them long enough in a certain way, you begin to see an amazing, three-dimensional image pop out of the picture.
There was a display of them in the center of the mall that day, surrounded by a crowd of mallgoers who were captivated by them. After figuring out how to see them, I steadily moved from picture to picture, in awe of each one.
I was with a friend of mine who couldn’t figure out how to see it.
So, I did my best to explain it to them. “Okay. First you stand about three feet away from the image. Then stare into the middle of the picture, letting your eyes cross. Just a bit. Not too much. Then, let the picture get a bit fuzzy, see, so that you don’t focus on the shapes. Don’t focus on the shapes! Eventually, you’ll see patterns hidden in the shapes. And try not to blink, or you’ll lose concentration, and don’t focus on the glare in the glass, or your reflection. And whatever you do, just relax!”
Despite my yammering (or, perhaps, because of it), my friend still didn’t get it.
“Oh, just keep trying!” I exclaimed, “You’ve gotta see this!”
To which my friend, now more disgruntled with me than with their inability to see the image, responded sternly: “I don’t … gotta … do anything.”
I deserved that.
DOUBTING THOMAS
I imagine that a similar scene unfolded soon after the resurrected Jesus had appeared to all the remaining disciples except for Thomas. They must have peppered him for a full week. “C’mon, Thomas! We saw it with our own eyes! You’ll have to believe us! And you can believe it, too.”
“You’ve gotta see this!”
If we’re honest, there is a bit of Thomas in each of us. There is much about the Christian faith that we don’t understand, can’t figure out, and find hard to believe. But as we will discover this Sunday, when we begin a new worship series titled “A New Creation,” Jesus meets us right where we are. Jesus meets us at the point of our doubts and skepticism, and offers a personal, intimate experience of the resurrection for ourselves.
See you Sunday, online or indoors!
(Oh, and did you figure out the 3D image in the headline graphic? Let me know!)
Grace and peace,
Magrey
The Rev. Magrey deVega
Senior Pastor, Hyde Park United Methodist
The Ballad of Mary’s Son
By Langston Hughes
It was in the Spring
The Passover had come.
There was feasting in the streets and joy.
But an awful thing
Happened in the Spring—
Men who knew not what they did
Killed Mary’s Boy.
And the Son of God was He—
Sent to bring the whole world joy.
There were some who could not hear,
And some were filled with fear—
So they built a cross
For Mary’s Boy.
Grace and peace,
Magrey
The Rev. Magrey deVega
Senior Pastor, Hyde Park United Methodist
Dear Hyde Park Family,
In the aftermath of the tragic shootings in Atlanta and Boulder, I offered a pastoral word and prayer earlier this week with which we can join in prayer and concern.
A PERSONAL WORD ABOUT RACE
A few people have reached out to me to offer their love and support in the wake of the rising violence and persecution committed to members of the Asian-American and Pacific Islander community. I am very grateful for those persons.
Today’s Midweek Message is longer than usual, and I thank you for receiving this personal word of reflection.
I have done a great deal of introspection this past week about my own race and ethnicity. Like a Pandora’s box with a loose-fitting lid, it doesn’t take much for difficult memories from my past to flood my mind. There was the trio of bullies in first grade who teased me every day about my name, my eyes, and my hair. There was the church member who gave me a ride from the church in his pick-up truck, motioning me to sit in the bed of the truck. “Minorities sit in the back,” he told me. There were the racial slurs I have been called to my face and behind my back in every decade of my life.
SPRAY-ON SECURITY
Once when I was about ten years old, I stared in the bathroom mirror and just wished that I had hair like the other kids. Not the jet-black hair that grew straight down on all sides, not the haircut that looked like someone just stuck a bowl on my head and trimmed around it. I was so desperate to fit in that in fifth grade, I started combing my bangs with a swoop to one side, like I saw on the other boys. I affixed every hair into place every morning with a ghastly volume of hair spray.
I did that every day for thirty years. That hairspray became a kind of enchantment charm to ward off my insecurities.
Over time, I thought this masquerade was working. I went from being the target of bullying to becoming a popular, high-achieving student. I became known for my academic success and my gentle demeanor. I was voted by my peers as having the quality of “Loyalty” during Homecoming festivities. My efforts to fit in had succeeded, not realizing until retrospect that it had come at the cost of subsuming my ethnicity. When I would refer to my being Filipino-American, it was usually as playful self-deprecation and comic relief, rather than out of pride. For most of my ministry career, friends have told me that they “don’t see me as a minority.” Church members have remarked, “Magrey doesn’t speak the way you would expect him to.” I’ve had clergy colleagues forget that I’m not white, even as recently as this past week.
Acceptance has sometimes come at a cost, reminding me of what I have had to lose in order to gain a sense of belonging.
It is very true that even my ability to subsume my ethnicity is itself a privilege not afforded to other minorities. For many, it’s not as simple as changing a hairstyle or speaking without an accent in order to feel like they can fit in. Many Asian-Americans and Pacific Islanders have benefited from the “Model Minority” phenomenon, in which we are afforded recognition for actions and achievements that fit a prescribed stereotype, the very ones that benefited me in school: gentle, honorable, loyal, academically gifted. This mythology not only conceals a tragic history of racism against Asian-Americans, it offers beneficial perceptions not granted to other minority groups, especially African-Americans, who bear a greater historical burden of racial animosity, discrimination, and violence. Also, as a male, I have greater prospects for professional advancement and compensation. And as a heterosexual person, I am free in the eyes of the church to marry whom I love, and live out my sacred calling as a minister. This reality makes me sad and frustrated for many who are subjected to discrimination.
THE GREAT TENSION
Still, there is for me a tension between two polarities: Downplay who I am in order to fit in, or distinguish myself from others in order to be who I am?
I know I am not alone in this tension. The truth is, you feel it, too. None of us are immune from the conflict between the two deepest longings in each of us: to be who we are, and to belong. Between individuality and community. Between standing out and fitting in.
There are days when I’d rather not be asked by a stranger where I’m from. There are days when I’d rather just be known as a father, pastor, Floridian, and American, rather than use “Filipino” as a preceding adjective. There are days that I just want to belong. But there are also days when I want to be known for everything that makes me unique. I want to be able to speak with pride about who I am, without discrimination from others or being perceived as condescending of others. Most days, I feel a mixture of both these urges, and it is impossible for anyone else to know in any given moment what that mix within me is.
I know you feel this tension within yourself. It can become the basis of our own racial biases and prejudices, including my own. And this in part is what makes conversations about race so difficult.
We use well-meaning phrases like “color-blindness” and “unity” and “we are all part of one race, the human race.” Sometimes these ideas are helpful, but often they overly emphasize the communal at the expense of the individual. So, we swing the pendulum the other way, attending to people by their race, gender, sexual orientation, and other categories, often forgetting that no person is monolithic. I am more than one particular aspect of my identity, and you are, too.
Sound confusing? That’s because it is. Issues of racism and other kinds of discrimination are a hard, enduring mystery.
A FRAMEWORK FROM OUR FAITH
But it occurs to me that as Christian people, we have a framework for naming this mystery, and even learning to embrace it, rather than run from it.
We believe in a trinitarian God, whose very nature is both individual and communal. God cannot be solely defined as three distinct persons; nor is God a homogenous whole. As much as we may struggle over how to understand the trinity empirically, we can take heart that in God’s own nature is the possibility of finding the fullest, healthiest, and most life-giving expression of both being and belonging.
And if we are created in the same image of that trinitarian God, then we can in fact live out who we really are as individuals, as one vital community together.
But not only is the trinity a helpful framework for addressing racism, so is the other great mystery of the Christian faith: the incarnation. God was fully revealed in Jesus Christ through a personal, flesh-and-blood relationship with humanity. And because the Holy Spirit is working to make us more in the image of Jesus every day, we can then be an incarnate presence to each other. We can get to know each other personally, as fellow human beings, and hear the richness of all that makes us who we are. Issues of racism and discrimination separate us, but the incarnation offers a path toward reconciliation. When we hear each other’s stories, we can affirm one another’s dignity and worth, empathize with each other’s struggles, and celebrate each other’s uniqueness.
With the trinity and the incarnation, we can begin to realize a beautiful community of interconnected individuality.
And that is why I believe in the church. As much as Sunday mornings are still “the most segregated hour in America,” we have in our faith the model and the means to embrace the mystery of our racial differences. In the trinity, we can be fully individual and communal. In Christ, we can be in healthy relationships with people across our differences. Exploring our own racist tensions and tendencies need not be something we run from. We can learn to love one another, both as individual persons and as kindred spirits.
Writing this reflection has helped me process my feelings of grief over the events in Atlanta and around the country. But I remain hopeful in the work of the Spirit to remind us of the indomitable power of love. I hope my words can remind you of the basic right of every person to find their own balance between being and belonging. You deserve it, and so do I. We all do.
A POSTSCRIPT
In 2011, while serving a church in Iowa, I preached a sermon prior to beginning a three-month renewal period, in which I and the girls would travel to the Philippines to rediscover our ethnic heritage.
In that sermon, I talked about how my hair had become for me a symbol for subverting my ethnicity, and how I was choosing that day to feel free to be who I was. So, at the end of the service, in the chancel of the sanctuary, we had a church member who was a hairstylist take a pair of #2 clippers to my head.
I have kept that hairstyle ever since. It felt liberating then, and it still does.
And that was the last time I ever touched a bottle of hair spray.
Grace and Peace,
Magrey
